Outcome-Network.org

An International Database and eJournal for Outcome-Evaluation and Research

Paper

Facing with a new abandonment risk in centres for the right of visit and relationship

abstract

Background. This work has been developed in the context of Services Offering the Right to Visits and to Contact (Servizi per il Diritto di Visita e di Relazione)[1]. In the last ten years, three surveys have focused on the results of the interventions aimed at "the maintenance of parental links following family crisis". These results allow us to identify some particular phenomena using some in-depth studies that have been initiated.

The most striking aspect has come to light since the first survey was completed. This is the way visit are stopped as a result of a decision by the visiting parent, even when an evolving and substantially positive parent-child relationship has been established. Such a break, from the child's point of view, represents a further painful experience of being abandoned. The 2007 survey confirmed a 15,6% incidence of this phenomenon (116 out of 741 cases).

An in-depth analysis was carried out to try to understand the problem better, in order to find theoretical and methodological tools to deal with these situations and to avoid further traumatic experiences to children and parents.  The initial in-depth examination underlined the differences between fathers and mothers. In the case of mothers, the decision to abandon the child again is closely related to severe psychiatric illness or to addiction. The data on the fathers seems to be more complex. 

Method. 39 cases with interventions at Spazio Neutro (Milan) between 1993 to 2005 have been selected with the following variables: those interventions interrupted by fathers with a positive involvement of the child and a positive evolving relationship clearly noticed by the observing worker. Some fathers dropped out suddenly, not attending planned visits any more and making themselves scarce. Everything in the clinical files was subject to close re-examination: notes, reports, decrees and reports from the judicial authority, diagnoses and social-psychological evaluations.

Findings. The results point to severe psychiatric illness, addiction and serious antisocial behaviours in approximately two thirds of the cases examined.

Reasons given for choosing to drop out of the meetings were characterized by placing the blame on external  factors (work, the other parent, incompetent services, inconve­nient hours etcetera). When a further interview was possible, the worker's stress on the child's disappointment produced no effects[2].

Some common and recurring aspects emerged in the actions and behaviour of these fathers. Some of them showed a relative discontinuity in attending for visits. When they missed the appointment, they did not call to inform the organisation in time to avoid the child waiting unnecessarily. The justifications given appeared not to match the importance that they said they gave to meeting their child.

Communications between father and worker that preceded or followed the meetings did not appear to focus on the child or on how the visit had gone, but addressed other matters, not least conflict between the couple. A recurrent theme of these fathers consisted in a noticeable assertion with regard to their parental role, in which they complained that it had been blocked by outside factors. In these cases the assertion did not appear to be linked to feelings of depression or pain at the loss or rupture  in the relationship with the child.

Their claim is often expressed through judicial action, with repetitive legal action, or at a formal level with exhaustive discussion on the practical and logistical aspects of the meetings.

It seems impossible for these children to stay in their fathers' minds except in the "here and now" of the meetings, or in an idealized way that does not bear any relationship with reality. 

The assertions about fatherhood in these cases is not focussed on rebuilding the relationship with the child, but on a narcissistic need to validate themselves, especially in opposition to the other parent.

These first results showed that the relationship between the abandoning father and his child is heavily influenced by disruptive narcissistic problems, often the same problems that had led to the familiar conflict. It is very important to pay attention to the claims of these fathers to better handle them by understanding their meaning as defences of a personal fragile equilibrium and thus taking care of their inner demand.

Our last survey, including data from eleven services for the right of visit and relationship, highlighted  the outcomes of the services work.

Among 1144 cases examined, 741 (65%) achieved the re-establishment of a positive relationship versus 403 (35%) in which this goal was missed.

Between these 403 cases, 257 (22%) drop the intervention since the first interviews or  barely reached the first meeting with the child. Other 146 cases didn't get to the restoration of the bond despite of a longer intervention.

Between 741 situations in which a positive evolution was observed, the intervention was interrupted in 272 cases whereas it successfully achieved a full agreement toward autonomy in 469 cases.

Surely, the evaluation of the inner meanings of the maintenance or the interruption of the parental bond and its influence on people life deserve different analysis and further discussions. At the moment, we miss surveys focusing on the evolution of the relationship after discharge.   

Implication and recommendations. This experience has highlighted how much the maintenance of the bond between a child and his parent depends on the possibility to recognize and understand the wounds of the adults.  

A close analysis of the "new abandonment phenomena" could lead to more effective treatments and it could be also useful to the Judicial Authority and to lawyers working in this context.

Key references

AA.VV. (2007). Linee Guida - I servizi per il diritto di visita e di relazione. Provincia di Milano, Milano: Direzione centrale affari sociali.

Dallanegra, P. (Ed.). (2005). Le radici nel futuro. La continuità della relazione genitoriale oltre la crisi familiare. Milano: Franco Angeli.

Selva, A. (2006). Il doppio abbandono nell'esperienza dello Spazio Neutro di Milano. Studi Zancan, 1.

Contacts: Paola Dallanegra, Provincia di Milano - Direzione Centrale Cultura e Affari Sociali - Spazio Neutro, Via Pusiano 22, 20132 Milano, p.dallanegra@provincia.milano.it, Phone 02 26 30 301 - 334 67 03 374.

 


[1]. "Spazio Neutro" was established in 1993 on initiative of the department of health and social services of the city of Milan and the department of Social Politic of the Province of Milan - Italy.  It is a service pertaining the "right of visit and relationship" (contact centres UK, supervised visitation centers USA), according to the principles of the 9th article of the "Convenzione per i diritti dell'infanzia".  The main goal is allowing the maintaining or the rebuilding of a relationship between a child and his parent after separation, divorces, fostering and other situations of deep familiar crisis. To support this work, Province of Milan is coordinating a network gathering 14 Services.

 

 

© copyright 2024 Outcome-Network.org all rights reserved, in partnership with FondazioneZancan | iaOBERfcs | read the legal notice.